At first I wanted to write, washing away grief but in reality we can’t ever forget about those we lost. Sometimes there is the residual sadness that shows up when we least expect it. Recently, I had those feelings where a minor interaction triggered feelings of loss that really made my heart and soul exceptionally sad. I couldn’t run away from it so I chose to lean into it and ride it out. Fortunately, it occurred over a time that I was not forced to be in my usual busy pace. I slowed down to a near stop for a bit and allowed myself to feel the sadness down to my soul.
Interestingly enough, I didn’t have one of those soulful cries yet I felt the sadness down to a cellular level.
Once I emerged from the intense low feeling I had to put on my happy face, head out to life again and do my thing. The day at the office, I noticed myself walking up to the main entrance slowly and taking several deep breaths so by the time I pushed the door open, I could smile and say a happy good morning to each employee as I walked to my office. Fortunately, I feel a lot of love in my workplace so I can have my feelings and gently dive into my day.
The next day, I felt pretty much back to myself yet stronger. I was proud that I was able to honor my sadness, unpeel the layers of loss and come out of my cocoon. The thoughts I had in my sadness allowed me to examine a part of my distant past and replay “how could I have done that differently” and I came up with a way to find peace with my feelings as well as grateful that now I have the tools available to make different choices and wiser choices.
It was very empowering to fall into the sadness rather than numb it. I actually got through it faster with such a sense of strength and gratitude for the lessons learned along the way. There are always those points within grief that the missing part is so final, so never to happen again, so I’ll never see them again and it has a way for me to really honor, in a really special way, the people in my life now who I get to love and be loved by all the time.
Life is way too short to hesitate, to be held hostage by and to short change ourselves when there really is a beautiful like out there to be lived fully in a very present way. So while in washing away some grief, I really got to wash my soul clean.
And I invite you to stay present to whatever sadness or loss you feel and ride it out like the most amazing wave. It will pass and it will bring you safely to the shore when you surrender to what the universe puts on our path.