Whether we own a business, work in a corporation or are part of a household, we seem to be wearing lots of hats in today’s world. Yet, when I think back to stories my mom and grandmother shared of the “good ole days”, the women took care of the children, had hot meals on the table, cleaned the house, cleaned the clothes, helped kids with homework, got everyone moving for church, were involved in school activities, sewed Halloween costumes, did the holiday gift shopping and somehow the list goes on and on.
Today, typically both parents work, yet why is it that we feel overwhelmed in not being able to juggle everything needed to keep life going smoothly? When you add to the equation the fact that women are now in the workforce versus previous generations there is so much more expected of women. And the partners are sharing responsibilities. While all of that sounds wonderful, the % of shared duties among households is still less than it should be. The Working Mother Research Institute published a study that 79% of working mothers today are responsible for household duties and twice as many handle cooking the meals. Men still handle the bulk of the outside chores yet in today’s world, those duties are now outsourced so where does that leave the working mother? She/We are still handling the bulk of what it takes to run a family.
Some of my male friends may be angry with me when reading this but I can’t overlook the fact that women are the backbone of the caretaking roles and still are juggling careers. Yet, we are still treated as second in the pecking order. Not fair and we are no longer tolerating being handed the workload without the acknowledgement.
I haven’t even addressed same sex marriages who really are in partnership. Sure, I’m biased because I am in a same sex marriage but I know how we both work hard together to keep all the balls in the air with career, house, families local and out of state and our animals. And we sure are dogged by the pathetic right wing for being who we are. We sure have a lot to teach the traditional partnerships who let the bulk of responsibility fall on one spouse.
For the marriages/partnerships who work together to share the responsibilities, hats off to us for caring for each other. It takes work and planning and often the quality time together gets put to the sidelines to care for everything else. So out of all the hats we wear, which hat can you share? Which hat can you take off? Which hat no longer serves you? Can one of your kids wear the hat? When we step outside the old box, there are ways to make this work and it’s up to us to talk about it.
I invite you to go on a date with the love of your life and talk about those hats. Maybe you switch off to see what the other carries. Whatever you do, talk about it and work together.